Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Man is the object of his own lust, he is lust itself, constantly consuming his own spirit.

 Ugh, what a weekend!

I had a monumental paper to write. I don't know if any of you have ever written philosophy papers but they always take so much from me and leave me in a strange place. I wrote on Shakespeare's Sonnets 129 and 130. I think I came to the conclusion that Dionysus is the one true god, apostrophes are orgasms, and only the Notorious B. I. G. knew real truth.

I feel like I'm coming down from a weird trip.

Food wise, I didn't restrict this weekend. I figure I needed all the help I could get with this paper. I didn't binge, but I've been eating too much. Today was a good day. It would have been a very good 400 but I ate to many sweeties and ended up above 600. No more pastries for the rest of the week. I need to train myself to understand that those are special occassion treats. Not everyday privilages.

I want to say more but my roommates are being loud and its grating on my tired nerves. Next year, when I am living in my own apartment, I won't have to put up with this nonsense. That will be nice.

Love you all!

10 Curtsies:

kazehana said...

Philosphy...haha it def makes your whole brain spin like a top inside a glass jar.

I remember when I was a teenager, my french/photojournalism teacher gave me his copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance to read over the summer. I swear, my brain combusted. I bought my own copy and it has so many notes in the margins I may as well have written my own damn book. haha

And thanks so much for the kind words. I definitely needed them? I think my freakout will calm down once the day itself is OVER.

I've been looking forward to being 30 for such a long time (since I was 23 and decided I hate odd numbered ages) and spent much of that time telling myself it would be my best year ever: the year of me having all my shit together.

I think I'm having anxiety coz so much I wanted to fix isn't fix; wounds I wanted healed aren't healed. I wanted to feel fabulous, but I still feel beat up. You know?

I'll get over myself. I always do. ;p

And yesss, B and I have...well. No, I never *really* hate him. Not truly. I get cranky and froggish, but I love him pretty consistently. Just not nicely. And hate is such a fun word to use when I'm throwing a fit. Like 'fuck' or 'cunt.' lol

Anonymous said...

Mmm Shakespeare and philosophy. Sounds exhausting in the most excellent way.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Oh how I can relate! I was a philosophy major for three years, and, "I feel like I'm coming down from a weird trip" was just the most perfect explanation of the post-philosophy-paper exhale.

Thank you for your comment, darling, I'll certainly be keeping you up to date. It's exhausting, though - one moment I'm hoping it's there, the next I'm hoping it's gone.. and in between those moments I'm feeling guilty for hoping either way.

All I know right now is that I love you,
Adeline xx

Anonymous said...

oh, i can't stand a week without pastries! i'm a pastry-girl XD

haha... don't worry, darlin' just ignore the loudness of your surrounding... think of them as music... a really irritating music. (okay, this doesn't help so im gonna shut up my mouth) haha..

love yah!

p.s. i love philosophy :)

robyngabrielle said...

hey lovely, good job on doing the paper! my studies used to leave me feeling out of joint too - especially my 16000 word dissertation -_-

even above 600 is still very low so don't be hard on yourself ok?

love you xxx

Starving Artist said...

Lol philosophy trip... matt knows a guy who likes to read philosophy books while hes tripping & once wrote something that Matt said absolutely blew his mind.
Try hard candie sweeties! I looove Werther's Originals sugar frees, and baskin robins candies, even if you don't get the sugar free its still 60 cal for 4 peices as opposed to 160 for the actual ice cream and omg it's soo good and lasts so much longer. I think the sweet&low brand candies from the doller tree are also pretty yummy (I like the coffee ones, the hazelnut? OMG <3)
On pickles, whats your favorite veggie? I bet you can pickle it! Pickles don't have to be cucumbers after all ;) expiriment a bit and I bet you'll find one you like.

Mich said...

Yeah philosophy really takes it out of you. I used to have more of an interest in it, but then I got stuck with a bad professor and she kind of killed it. She should have been neutral, I think, in her grading; but she would give lower grades to the students who disagreed with her own favorite philosophies. And since I despise Ayn Rand's philosophy on life, I never got anything higher than a B. >:(

Your conclusion makes perfect sense. <3

xoxo

Heather said...

I love writing papers like that, the challenge excites and energizes me.
You do need food to help with essays, good that you're back on track now tho.
I wish I had my own apartment, I do love my roommates though, but being home alone this week has reminded me how much I love and thrive in my own space.
<3

Silhouette said...

Lmao I love Biggie. He did know real truth. And so did tupac especially when he said "And since we all came from a woman. Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman..I wonder why we take from our women. Why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it's time to kill for our women. Time to heal our women, be real to our women".. Your post cracks me up with the whole train yourself shit. I hope I don't have these problems with my roommate. And I love that we have that in common about the stripper thing. I've been taking pole lessons for a year its so much fun you should do it! You won't regret it your legs and arms will look amazing and of course abs when you start learning how to flip.
xoxox

désespérée de maigrir said...

I am so honored that you find me inspiring. Likewise! Running becomes easier as you do it, so just add a little at a time and eventually you'll be able to log multiple miles.

I agree that we all need to train ourselves about treats for special occasions. They're not for every day, they are diet saboteurs and should only be eaten under the most perfect of circumstances. And on that note, why do we think it's ok to reward ourselves with food? I understand chocolate is delicious, but it doesn't really help in the end, so why is it a reward?

Have a lovely day Miss Tai!

 
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