That this too too solid flesh would melt, thaw, and resolve itself into a dew

Breakfast: {0}
Lunch: {50}:
salad {18}1 cup coffee {2}
1/4 cup rice milk {30} 
Dinner: {65}
1/2 cup miso soup {47}
1 slice honeydew {14}
3 grapes {4}
1 cup green tea {0}
Total intake: 115, Exercise: 0, Grand total: 115

Today I woke up, pulled on some clothes, walked to the nurses office, and broke down into what I can only describe as one of the most ugly and embarrassing messes ever to be emotionally unstable.

Let us back track: I have been at my college for a year. I don't mean a year as in, 'Oh, I've just completed my 1st two terms of school.' I mean a year as in studying and living on campus for 12 months straight with my longest break being 2 weeks. Needless to say I am tired. In addition, although I dearly love this college I increasingly find I have an inability to get any of my work done. When I don't achieve, I get depressed and when I get depressed, I get suicidal. I opted for counseling instead of going of a wild barbiturate hunt and they promptly handed me a prescription for Zoloft. While this little pill does help me get things done it only increases my feelings of failure and inadequacy that, unlike normal, healthy, functioning adults, I need to take medication to motivate me to complete even the simplest tasks. Then my grandfather died, and my roommate's father died. Two paralyzed bed-ridden days later I'm telling the nurse about my 'stomach bug,' what I'm currently blaming for my absences from class and small appetite, and in the middle of it I start crying like a ninny.

Complete break down.

At first they were just small tears adding commas to the conversation. Then brooks streaming down my cheeks accenting my babbling. Finally, my head dropped into my hands and I lost myself in a fountain of oblivion. In my cupped hands were bright, golden galaxies and I and sang to their infinity with my wails. I felt my cheeks, then face, then torso, then everything tingling and dissolving around my feet. Like Alice, I let my tears pool around my body and rise above my head. In my ears I heard the dull echoes of sobbing like my own heart beat but I was becoming one and nothing. Right now I feel like I am composed of tears. I wish I could liquefy and stream to the ocean where I would be welcomed and embraced by that mother of all.

Full fathom five thy mother lies; Of her bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were her eyes: Nothing of her that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change into something rich and strange